Bad Boy Bastian Is Back In Business

So, after a somewhat difficult start, the proverbial head has come off again... The brand-new year 2020 has really started. The champagne fumes have gone up, the Christmas tree is languishing outside on the pavement and - much more important - your bloody blogpoodle is looking forward to it again!

Wijdbeens

The virgin new year is widely awaiting us people, so I dive right on top of it with a smooth piece of fashion news below the belt. Or yes, fashion news... Actually it's a bit about myself, but well, I'm breathing fashion, so I think that just counts. I would like to share with you what I have set myself for 2020. Yes, you heard right, dear audience: Sir Sebastian has been thinking up some really good intentions!

Feasible cards

Good intentions, who doesn't know them, who doesn't make them and, much more interesting: who doesn't break them after a week or two? It's also not easy to make yourself a better person, or a better dog in my case. Lose a few pounds? Seems achievable, until after two embarrassing shows at the gym you decide you'd rather keep wearing big sizes. Just leave that drink alone then? Also a popular intention, until you've spent an entire weekend sitting on the couch next to your deadly boring guy. Maybe you don't want to say goodbye to that bottle after all, but you'd rather say goodbye to your wedding this year? People, stop it! You're just giving yourself a hard time with these unfeasible resolutions. I know, I feel your pain. Been there, done that. That's exactly why, in this brand new year and this brand-new decade, I'm gonna do things very differently.

Sin, sin, sin!

My own intention came to the surface spontaneously this Christmas period, while I was visiting my old aunt Alie very well. By the way, that's also an intention I came up with for free: we don't do that anymore! Next year I'm either going to spend Christmas with exciting friends, or I'm just going to lock myself up in my loft with an expensive bottle of whisky to cuddle. What a silly thing to say... ...not to do. Anyway, I had plenty of time to reflect on my sins. Guess what my conclusion was? I don't have enough! Not enough sins, I mean? And I think that's a sin.

Tasty naughty

My good intention for this year will therefore not be a good one at all. On the contrary, I have decided to take a nice naughty intention as my intention. Are you still following it? Let me put it another way: I think a naughty intention is a good intention. That has everything to do with the fact that I behaved far too well last year, even if I say so myself. Think about it: I was at fashion shows, carnival parties, on the French Riviera and even several times with the royal family, and all of this without being called out, expelled, or arrested... Everybody thinks I'm sweet and nice, but with the Likes it doesn't get any better. Very bad for publicity of course, and that just works to your disadvantage if you work hard on your reputation as an influencer. High time for a different approach!

Wreck the world, start with yourself!

That's why I'm going to improve my life this year - by making it worse! I'm all done with my position as a good lapdog and petpoodle, so I'm going to take a completely different tack. This young dog can no longer be kept on a leash, nicely not. This will be a year where the dogs don't like bread. I'm trippin' the new decade inside boys... I'm already feeling really excited. Cursing, asking cheeky questions, biting at the boss and against shiny clean lampposts on puddles, delicious! I'm getting all excited about it now that I'm sharing it here with you!

Monday

Okay, let me think. Where am I gonna start with my bad intentions? I'm gonna grab the diary. Ah, wait. Isn't it almost Blue Monday again , the most depressing day of the year? I guess I'm gonna be annoying everyone I meet all day just to be contrary. Maybe wearing bright red lingerie as a counterbalance to that Blue Monday. I think that's a nice start, but I feel by my water that there's more to it this year. Let's see...

Plans

Oh yeah - Valentine's Day is coming soon! I remember last year I was very good and passive at it. I waited very doglike at the mailbox, without any result of course. So we are going to do that completely differently this year. I think I will make a list of fifty of my sneaky crushes and then send them all a pair of exciting panties! No, that can be naughty: worn panties or in my case, boxer shorts ! Hmm, I'll have to start wearing them one by one for half a day, by the way. I'll think about it for a while.

Bad Boy Bastian

Anyway, dear, fine readers, you've understood by now: your raging reporter is looking forward to this year! With a simple naughty intention in my pocket, I'm all set for three hundred and sixty-seven days - because leap year - fashion pleasure at full speed! I see that the neighbors at Dutch Designers Outlet are setting the place up for the New Year's party, so I immediately have a nice low-threshold starting point to try out my new naughty lifestyle.

Lingerie world, brace yourselves, because Bad Boy Bastian is coming!