Sir Sebastian is doing Halloween very differently this year.

It's almost Halloween again... It's getting bigger every year in our little country, and now we can hardly get around it in the lingerie business. It's that I'm not that creative - and I don't have thumbs, that counts too - but otherwise I would have had a few artfully cut pumpkins on the windowsill! I like it, a bit of dressing up here and there, plus that creepy atmosphere now that the evenings are getting a bit longer, but still the meaning of Halloween has always eluded me a bit. So as a professional influencer I thought it would be smart to check out what we're actually talking about when we embrace such a new holiday en masse.

Hallowie?

Okay, so I went into the books and I noticed right away that I'm on the right track. Halloween is growing like cabbage: it started in England and Ireland, crossed the puddle to the US and Canada and from there it's rapidly conquering the world. They are now celebrating it far into Eastern Asia, so we can't just let it pass quietly. Apparently Halloween is a handy marketing mix of Roman, Celtic and Christian traditions. Hallow-e'en comes from 'all hallow's eve', or the evening of All Saints. It coincided with the Roman harvest festivals and the Celtic New Year, so that there is something to celebrate, I understand. If you then combine the night that the deceased can return to earth with a fine harvest party and you pour a thin layer of New Year's Eve on top of it, then apparently you end up dressed up passing by the doors and begging for candy. That's fine. Logical. Can I come with you.

Trick or treat

The question for me then becomes of course: how do I respond to this with an approach from night, bath and underwear? Well, I myself see something in the whole trick or treat concept. Come on, another piece of history then - I haven't been studying it for nothing. In the old days, in the Middle Ages, people used to go by the doors with All Saints, but then it was ragged believers who came to sing a song for your deceased family. If you gave them a piece of raisin bread, they would put in a good word for your grandfather or your mother-in-law up there. Good deal if you ask me, but inflation, huh? Nowadays you have half a school class with screaming children who only want to leave when you give them bags full of candy. Times change, we don't do much about that, but I thought we could do a lingerie thing with trick or treat...

Tricks and treats

So Trick or treat is actually a trick or treat: you just give them sweets, because who knows what else they'll ask you in return, right? I've had a bowl of dog candy at the door myself for years, and it works fine, because I rarely see the same children for two years in a row. But apart from that, with 'a trick or a treat' I can come up with something for a playful lingerie action: are you starting to drink something?

Forget creep

I think we should do it this way. Forget the creepy part of Halloween. This year we'll focus on the theme of the long dark autumn nights. You quickly order a nice new set of lingerie online - or, ideally, edible underwear - and you just wait until your husband or wife comes back from a long day at the beginning of the evening. Turn off all the lights, lie quietly behind the couch and keep well hidden until the corridor door opens. Just when your loved one has found the light switch in a state of extreme confusion, jump out from behind the couch and shout loudly: "TRICK OR TRIEHIEET!"! Well, and then you just see if your life partner happens to be carrying a candy (- profit -), or not, and then it becomes a trick (- much more profit if it's good -). Good idea? That's what I thought! Oh yeah, a little tip on my part: if children do come to the door, quickly shoot into a bathrobe while you're drifting away from behind that couch, because otherwise you could end up with crooked looks, traumatised toddlers, or angry parents this year.

Double party

Okay, maybe the Halloween theme isn't my wildest idea ever, but don't worry! It would be a little sparse if we could just have an old American party this week, right? Thank goodness I'm so well informed, because otherwise you wouldn't know at all that the day before Halloween is the Day of the Decollete! For a moment I thought we could combine those two days by writing an election for the creepiest cleavage ever, but on second thought I don't think that's very chic. It's a sympathetic action as far as I'm concerned: a day in the year when all ladies can show their cleavage as prominently as they like (of course they should be able to do it every day - it's a free country), but the special thing about this day is that all men (and women who are interested) are allowed to stare at it unashamedly. Is that a relief in these times of #metoo, I wonder, or is it just a side we shouldn't want to take together?

Pumpkins

I'm gonna make sure and leave the choice up to you, dear. I'd rather see it this way myself: if you have a cleavage you're proud of, you can just show it to me every day. If you have a cleavage you'd like to add a little 'ooomph!' to, then we've got the best style tools and support assistants waiting for you here. I'll quickly put the push-up bras and preformed cups just as prominently on the shelves. Maybe you want to dress up your cleavage day extra festively with a nice lace band on your new bra, as a kind of decorative frame for your own piece of art? We have plenty of choice, so as far as I'm concerned we'll stop that one day a year and do the same as we do with animal day... Just like you should be extra nice to animals every day (poodles included of course), a nice cleavage is something to celebrate all year round. Shall we instead just enter an annual walk-not-so-dom-staring-day? Seems a lot more sensible - and even more fun for a simple lingerie-influencer as well. To end with a Halloween-inspired oneliner: have fun with these autumnal holidays and don't be afraid to put your most beautiful pumpkins prominently on your windowsill!

Good luck with your Tricks or Treats!

Sir Sebastian, cleavage attorney of the first hour.