Pruning for summer lingerie

We are focusing on nature and spring is arriving. Time to take a look at your underwear hygiene. Because spring always requires some good trimming. Also in the closet!

Hello dear lingerie fans and dog fetishists. Did you get through that February month well with my warm nightly tips? Because that was still needed. As a finely crafted dog gentleman, I can also imagine that in these strange times, the bed and couch continue to beckon. The world is becoming totally mesjokke mes amis! Idiots who suddenly figure that their own country is too small for their far too large ego. Unfortunately, I have no influence on this whatsoever, except to ask my owner to fumigate the closet and donate all the warm clothes.

It is already getting lighter outside and the sun is still shining. So let's just focus on nature which ensures that everything always blooms and grows. Ehm yes, also there where we would like it to be deforested. Dear ladies and fine gentlemen, we are going to welcome spring in closet and underpants!

Hardcore sale in lingerie land

Every year during these months it is a cheerful and busy affair at my dear Dutch Designers Outlet neighbors. Running and flying, the boxes fly around and I regularly see the boss with sweat in his buttocks and whiskers ordering more boxes. For new orders I mean. The big Lingerie Sale is at its peak. A veritable rain of discounts on underwear, swimwear, great brands, yummy thongs and kinky négligés. Really, it's raining lingerie in the warehouse. I too get very excited and at the end of the day I regularly have sore muscles in my tail because of all the waggling that all those lovely sale items bring about. And that's also because of all the excess um... hair....

Nice and short and then in your shorts

Well, I don't know about your personal hygiene, but in the winter a toenail is not always visible. Also, personal hair growth is a bit more cherished in the winter, not to mention the sight of a pair of bright white subjects. So as soon as I smell spring even a tiny bit, I want to go to the hairdresser. Now, as a dog lord, I can make that a little clearer than humans. I just make sure I drop an unusually large amount of hair in conspicuous places et voíla, I get to go to my designer groomer to have a fine spring cut made. So if you've unsuspectingly purchased a pile of shorts, thongs and yummy brazilian bottoms in the Sale at Dutch Designers Outlet, then it's important to prune things up a bit. Unless of course you are the type of let it blow, then I say, if you got it, flaunt it!

Never short of discount underpants

Tell yourself, a clean-shaven face does look fresh. Well, the same goes for the crotch area. A quick razor blade and if you're a really crazy girl, a designer cut in the underpants is also an option. Then your swimsuit or bikini is just that little bit more comfortable. And it is often just a bit more pleasant for your partner. Again, if your taste is a little more forest-oriented, you have my blessing. I too can appreciate a good bouvier now and then. But in terms of modern etiquette, the higher the cut of the thong, the less there is in it.

Where your hair stands on end

Then there are the hairy legs, which of course need to be cleaned after such a long winter Corona-zooming-in-your-undershorts period. Hashtag fresh I would say. By the way, the color white is very trendy, so when your legs have recovered from the first scare of the sun, make sure you put on lots of sunscreen. If you combine those nice legs with a Sale nightwear or dress with huge slit...oooh my tail is wagging again for joy. I just love skirt days! Not surprising, because all that rain and cold days make my hair stand on end.

Good smooth and tasty

In short, take a good look in the mirror. Give yourself a high five and look a little longer, because you are allowed to be there! Even though the world is now the craziest place in the universe, with weirdos threatening to press weird red buttons they're not supposed to touch at all. We can't make it any better at the moment, but you're still more than welcome to be there. So buy a nice set and give yourself some fun. And then if I may, as a haughty gentleman, give another political tip: buy an extra lounge set in the sale, warm and nice. Donate that to anyone who could really use it right now.