Breasts Basics Of The Professor

The reactions to my previous mini-lecture - you know, about the Breast Season - caused some commotion. It was a bit of a shock to notice how many people actually have questions about two such prominent subjects, but we shouldn't just close our eyes to them either, I think. Apparently there is a great need for support when it comes to our bust. This is just as true for men as it is for women, I noticed from the avalanche of messages I received.

That's why I thought a pass was, uh, in place here, so. I'm gonna move up my lecture on the best match between bra and chest a little bit. Instead, I'm gonna treat you to a little basic knowledge today. We're gonna go over the different aspects of the chest area together. That way we'll know what we're talking about when we go really deep into the subject matter.

Where do breasts come from?

Okay, admittedly, maybe a bit of a weird first question. But still, where does the word "breast" come from? The scholars think that the ancient German 'brust' or the Saxon 'briast' is the oldest basis for the bust. Freely translated, it means something like 'swelling' or 'bulging'. Despite this voluminous origin, it is a bit of a flat word, strangely enough. Not very poetic. Must've been thought up by some guy then...

How Many Breasts Are There?

That's pretty easy to calculate. Pay attention. There are about seven billion people on our planet. Roughly the helt is female (okay, a little over 50% even, but grumbler who pays attention to that). So seven billion divided by two is 3,500,000,000. There are so many different breasts. Simple, because every woman is different, and so is every pair of breasts. Or no, wait a minute... If you look closely, even your own two are never quite the same. Interestingly enough, on average the left breast is bigger than the right one (or the other way around for the viewers at home). So then we can say that there are at least seven billion unique breasts! That's as many as there are earthlings walking around. Do they feel overwhelmed? Then imagine that there's enough for everyone: at least two breasts per earthman - and two uniquely different ones too! Even more striking: there are almost exactly as many as there are men's hands, so exactly one for each hand! So you can see that there is no coincidence in nature...

Are breasts always the same?

Of course not. An old sage once said, "the only thing that never changes is the fact that everything changes." Quite apart from the philosophy, it's safe to say that breasts are always in motion. That's very useful to know if you're looking for a bra at Dutch Designers Outlet. Your ladies will grow with you throughout your life. They start very modestly and get fuller and bigger through puberty, until adulthood. But then it doesn't stop. Having children has an enormous influence on breast size and shape, for example. But even in the course of the month they change along with it. The menstrual cycle dictates the swelling and shrinking of your curves, a bit like the moon washes and shrinks again. Of course, that favourite bra sometimes sits like a cast, and other times it is just not ideal. It goes even further... Did you know that sleeping on your stomach has an impact on the size of your breasts? Makes you think, doesn't it?

Do Breasts Have a Function?

Yes, they do. And I don't mean the function of attracting spectators' attention. I guess I don't have to explain that the mommies, or the membranes as they're sometimes called unflattering, have everything to do with motherhood. You feed your babies with it, like all mammals do. Okay, so much for primary function. Did you know that your breasts were given an extra task when we walked upright as a species? When we were walking around the world on all fours, they just hung in there under your belly. Once we got up straight, they suddenly took over an important task from... Your ass! Yeah, really! At first, the female buttocks had a very important function as a sexual signal: you can still see monkeys in our family nowadays that their buttocks swell enormously during the fertile period and take on even the most bizarre colours. This is to let males know that they can be mated. In theory then huh - with mutual approval of course. When we stood up, that perky bum suddenly wasn't visible anymore. Solution? Well, suddenly our breasts were like headlights in the middle of the picture. So that's how they got their sexual signal function. Oh yeah, and because we got a little tired of hanging tits after a few thousand years of walking upright, we made an invention that we're still busy with every day. What's that? Exactly. The designer bra!

Plus A Connecting Function!

Let's not forget that your breasts have an important function during sex! It's not just a treat for your partner. Differences per woman are huge, but the entire breast, especially the nipple and areola, are a very sensitive erogenous zone. This is where the interests of the wearer and admirer come neatly together again, because breasts get a connecting function. You can look at them together and that's already nice. Still, everything becomes much more fun when you can play with them together. There is definitely such a thing as a 'nipplegasm', or in other words: there are women who can ejaculate because of the pleasure their breasts give them as an erogenous zone. The trick, of course, is that you and your partner have to learn how to achieve something so phenomenal. That's why learning about breasts just ends after my college. It's just like driving a car: I'll give you the basics, but after that you'll have to develop a feeling for them!

Stay Tuned!

Okay, we all know a little over a quarter of an hour ago now, so that's a win. We learned where breasts come from linguistically, about how many there are, what they're for and that they're literally always on the move. I say take advantage of it and be nice to it. You do that, for example, by offering them suitable shelter. Where can you find those luxurious yet affordable accommodations? Browse through the Dutch Designers Outlet collection of top bras, I'd say. Maybe you don't know what to look for to find your ideal bra? Then I say stay tuned, because that's what we're going to deal with in my next college!