Surprise Royale - and an exciting Mother's Day

So, nice people - and curious four-legged friends like you - there's your rabid underpants paparazzo again, with a new adventure to report. As announced, I threw myself without a glance or blushing at the Orange Festivities of King's Day and Night. Well, I knew it! From bright orange maxislips under skirts in national tricolour to tight micro shorts with images of the entire royal family on them: nothing was spared my sensitive eyes as I thoroughly examined the marquees and dance floors of the national celebrations.

Not only football shirts

It turns out that as folks we don't just have orange football shirts and inflatable crowns in our closet, my study showed. All over the Netherlands we have found that orange lingerie is quite fun to look at. Maybe something for you too? In the collection of Dutch Designers Outlet you can actually find something festive in all the colours of the rainbow, so you might find your new colour match there. A nice extra for the ladies among us with soccer-addicted men in the house: you're going to lure it off the couch and behind the TV with playful ease whenever you want. Just put on that new orange negligee and shout mischievously from the bedroom that Orange is playing tonight!

A true liberation

At least such a revelation, by the way, were the celebrations on Liberation Day last weekend. Luckily I took it easy when it comes to the alcoholic drinks, because I was still bubbling with orange bitter. I enjoyed the delicious music on the many festivities. Unfortunately the weather conditions were quite poor. So I saw more raincoats and poncho's than hot items on underwear, but that didn't spoil the fun. If you ask me, celebrating freedom happiness is not tied to the outerwear either.

Freedom celebrates you together, right?

I think the true liberation lies in the fact that these days we're all allowed to know for ourselves what we're doing with our lives. That automatically means freedom of choice when we're standing in front of our wardrobe, every day. When I look at it this way, it is almost our national duty to celebrate our own liberation every morning by expressing our feelings of freedom with the clothes we choose. And by that I don't just mean your dress and that nice loose pair of sneakers - why not just put on your friend's boxer for the ultimate liberating sensation? Or the other way around, of course: let man love walk around in your most comfortable lace hipster for a day. Surely we celebrate freedom to a large extent by putting ourselves in the other's shoes? Well, then we'll just put ourselves in each other's underpants for a change: who knows, you may never want to change again, or you'll be bickering together about who's going to take the new Marlies Dekkers to work today...

Generous rendezvous

Because of all those festivities I would almost forget to tell you how my royal rendezvous ended just before King's Day! I'm sure you remember from my earlier anecdotes that I was invited by Hare Máxima for a personal get-together at the palace. Speaking of revelations! I've never made a secret of the fact that our own Queen is a true fashionista, both in terms of the most beautiful dresses and suits and in terms of designer lingerie full of South American passion. So it didn't surprise me at all when an order for her was waiting for us. What did surprise me was that I was invited to deliver the package in my own little poodle. I had been asked to act discreetly, and of course I did, in the name of Orange. Máx was already waiting for me in the doorway, and so at dusk we cueed about this and that, while I whispered her completely disinterested last lingerie novelties. You understand that I was burning with curiosity to find out what was inside that pretty little suit... I just decided to ask doggonedly. "Say, Your Majesty, you said there would be a surprise for Wim-Lex... to brighten up his own, uh, King's Night a little, didn't you? I, uh, I hardly dare ask, but may I ask for a tiny sneak peek?"

Surprise Royale

With a mischievous wink she pulled out the package and with her lovely accent she said: "Shut up, dear Sebas - at least until after the King's Weekend! I pulled out my most innocent snout and assured her: "But, Your Majesty, you know me better than that, don't you? Would I ever just gossip or reveal something that is part of the deepest state secret? I'll keep my mouth shut like a grave, but I'm anxious to know what you will wear for our prince!" She laughed at that. "But my little Hundane, you're mistaken!" She blinked coquettishly with her eyelashes and continued, "This present should warm up the royal sponde a little, but it's not meant for my queen figure." I was knocked out of the field, I can assure you. "But Your Majesty, isn't there any spicy lingerie in it at all?" "Yes, there is. Look here," she replied, conjured up an elegant gentleman's thong in bright orange satin. "What do you think, Sir Sebastian, wouldn't this be the only thing with his blond hair and his beautiful blue eyes?" Completely out of the field I dripped off, again with the proverbial tail between my legs. Laughing, Máxima waved me off. "And remember: Shut your mouth - this is much more sensitive than the emperor's clothes!"

Flabbergasted

Totally flabbergasted I left the grounds. Our own frost, cloaked in just a few square centimetres of the finest fabric we have at Dutch Designers Outlet... The image is still burned on my retina. Fortunately, just in time I thought I had another chance to change my mind, because earlier that day I had planned to drop by Queen Mother Princess Beatrix's house for a royal cup of tea at the highest level. Hope she was at home of course, because this agile old lady still has an overcrowded agenda. I rushed to Lage Vuursche, where she now makes her appearance at Drakensteyn Castle.

Queen's Mother's Day

I was lucky. Immediately after I reported to the gate I was let in - they know me here as well by now. The Princess of Orange opened the front door herself, dressed in a sporty orange velour tracksuit, but with an elegant silver crown embroidered on the back. That's what I call casual chic! She had just made some tea and although she actually wanted to go to bed, she still had time for a chat. You understand that I'm not going to tire Beatrix out talking about lingerie. That's inappropriate for a modest poodle like me. Not that she's too old for it - oh no. You should know how many people in their fifties, sixties and seventies place the most exuberant orders with us! The point is rather that I don't have to tell our princess anything new about my line of business, because when it comes to design and lingerie she really knows the ins and outs, for years. We smelled of an orange tompouce that she still had in the fridge, and chatted about the grandchildren and other niceties. Suddenly she asked me what I was actually going to do for Mother's Day. Frightened I dropped my fork ringing on my plate.

Lingerie on Mother's Day?

I hadn't thought about it at all. Doing what? I saw that the Princess was nodding a bit and decided that it had been beautiful. I thanked her for the tea and her precious time and left for my basket. In spite of the adventures of that day, I could not sleep. What did I have to buy to surprise my mother? What do you give a bitch who already has everything?
Huh? What's the matter? All of a sudden I see you looking so questioning... My mom happens to be the sweetest bitch in the whole world, yeah? And just because you guys started using that term as a swear word, doesn't mean I can't call her that anymore, right? Oh yeah, never mind. Sometimes I forget we're different from each other. Dear readers, let's get back to the burning question that occupied me: can you treat your mother to lingerie for Mother's Day?

Conclusion of Sir Sebastian

As far as I'm concerned, the answer is guessable. Of course you can! How did you think your mother became your mother in the first place? By sitting neatly on the couch at her parents' house in long woollen underpants? I didn't think so either! In fact, I'm almost sure that every mother appreciates it when you let her be a woman with a beautiful and elegant set of designer lingerie on Mother's Day. You don't even have to add a sweet card with it: "Mom, thanks for taking off your knickers so many years ago," but as far as I'm concerned, you should let her know that you're happy with the light of life she showed you. I'll tell you what. Let's just discuss it like adults and animals. Come on with those opinions! What do you think? Nice lingerie for Mother's Day - No-Go or Yes-We-Can?!

Let's make it interesting: for the nicest reaction and reasoning I make a voucher of DDO available. You can choose a set for your mother right away, or keep it yourself, depending on your opinion!

Come on with those opinions, ladies and gentlemen!